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Obama team courts Mike Tyson as new spokesperson

September 3rd, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

After a healthcare activist bit off the finger of a counter-demonstrator, it didn’t take Obama’s advisors long to realize they were onto something big.
“Clearly, those that would be in favor of the healthcare reform as currently outlined would have a unique perspective and thought process. In order to best reach these people, we need someone [...]

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Suzanne Dupes

July 25th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

There isn’t much that can be added to this one, everyone is already talking about it. So, similar to jumping on the pile after 6 other players have tackled the quarterback. Here’s a link to Riehl World View, showing a great rundown of how pitiful Suzanne Dupes is.
I’d try to write something witty, but some [...]

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UT makes major change in graduation process

July 1st, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

Following the announcement regarding changes to the athletics tickets program, UT has announced a major change in the academic process and how graduations will be processed.
Under the new system, students and family members will need to give money to a new fund overseen by the athletic department in order to receive a diploma.
UT says it [...]

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One brave man steps forward and remembers Michael Jackson as the freak he was

June 27th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · 1 Comment

“I don’t understand it,” says Marcus Williamson. “Just two weeks ago, if you asked anyone about Michael Jackson they’d tell you he was crazy. At best, they’d giggle and recall the joke about the similarities in Jacko and K-Mart…boy’s pants, half off.”
“Now, he’s a freaking saint. Sure, he made a couple good songs. But he [...]

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New program designed to train young girls to enjoy WIC and Food Stamps

June 25th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

A new program, “College-Bound Sisters,” has been unveiled in North Carolina to pay young girls not to get pregnant. The payment, $1/day. The program was developed at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro by Hazel Brown, a maternity nurse who thought too many teens were having babies.
Brown said she hopes the program, which pays [...]

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AOL leaves Time Warner, proposes merger with Remedy Coffee

May 29th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · 1 Comment

On the heels of announcing a spin off from Time Warner, AOL has released spotty details regarding a proposed merger with Remedy Coffee, located in Downtown Knoxville.
The deal, seen similar to the agreement AT&T has with Starbucks, would provide online access for AOL users while visiting the new (and, as an editiorial note…simply fantastic) coffee [...]

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Nobody on-hand to script a response, Kiffin mumbles

May 27th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

Well, it looks like the media-generating mouth of Kiffin is much quieter if he doesn’t have a scripted response written by someone else (like, say his Twitter feed, that is still handled inappropriately). When confronted by Spurrier today, Kiffin “…clearly embarrassed, mumbled something inaudible.” You go boy!

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Local introverts announce formation of Knoxville Anti-Social Media Association

May 23rd, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · 3 Comments

According to Brehd, “Despite everyone’s incessant urge to be social, we’ve decided not to hold meetings on the first and third Thursday of each month at Prince Deli. If nobody shows up for these, we may not hold morning meetings at Starbucks as well.”

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Ragsdale pitches pork bellies as new global currency

March 24th, 2009 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

Knox County Mayor Mike Ragsdale on Tuesday morning proposed replacing the US dollar as the international reserve currency with something available around most of the globe, pork bellies.
In an essay posted on the Knox County Government web site, Ragsdale said the goal would be to create a reserve currency “that is disconnected from individual nations [...]

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Phillip Fulmer declines position with University of Tennessee

December 12th, 2008 by Brehd Patchley · No Comments

Fulmer announced today that he will not be accepting an offer from the University of Tennessee to take a 90-day appointment as a special assistant to President John Petersen. According to an undisclosed source, the decision was based on a simple mix-up regarding salary. “It appears that he misunderstood the salary offer, thinking the 12.5/month [...]

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