KP: The first question that everyone wants an answer to is simple. Why? Why are you running for Mayor of Knoxville and why have you decided to relocate to our town?
SG: Although Knoxville has been under fine leadership for several years I truly think I can improve upon this fine city. Let’s face it, no serious opposition to Space Ghost has stepped forward. I moved to Knoxville for the air quality â€“ what is possibly harmful to puny humans is actually refreshing to me.
KP: So, what is it that you think you have to bring Knoxville? Why would anyone possibly want to vote for you?
SG: Although I have no direct political track record my history of fighting crime and various space aliens speaks for itself. Although I’ll have a lot to learn I can promise that Knoxville will have one of the finest defenders short of Batman or Superman moving to Knoxpatch â€“ and we all know that’s never going to happen! They couldn’t stand this life.
KP: What about Zorak, is he going to be your right-handâ€¦umm just what is Zorak anyway?
SG: Zorak is actually a cricket with hyperactive glands. He means well but simply isn’t going to work out here in Knoxville. I plan to work closely with Zorak but he will most likely remain in another dimension.
KP: I’ve heard rumors that you were looked over for starring roles in both Gilligan’s Island and Buck Rogers. Is this true and if so, what impact has this had on your overall career?
SG: This has nothing to do with the Mayoral race, but yesâ€¦it is true. I was originally cast as â€˜Skipper’ in Gilligan’s Island but accidentally killed the original Gilligan when I hit him in the head with my cap. I hadn’t yet developed the ability to control by excessive strength. Years later the chance at becoming Buck Rogers was presented but I found myself overly attracted to that little robot and they wouldn’t give me the job â€“ apparently it wasn’t a real robot and the midget in the suit was very nervous about the situation.
KP: Are you really a ghost?
SG: I think so, but I do show up on film when my picture is taken. I don’t remember any life before being a ghost but it is rather odd that I can phase in and out between various dimensions.
KP: Have you visited Knoxpatch.com? If so, what did you think of the site?
SG: Never heard of it. Sorry.
KP: If you could say only one thing to the youth of Knoxville, what would you say?
SG: Listen to your parents. Sure, they are often confused and disoriented but they mean well. Pay attention to what they say and correct them at every possible opportunity.
KP: Do you have anything else you would like to share with our readers?
SG: I do, but they will need to meet with me personally if they are interested. I’m at Barley’s almost every night if anyone would like to look me up.
KP: That simply wasn’t called for, but thanks for your time.