Al Gore crashes on Ebenezer


Al Gore was driving his ’86 Ford Escort down Ebenezer Road late yesterday afternoon when he veered suddenly off the road and ran onto a golf course. He was on his way to the Gettysvue Country Club to attend a $10-a-plate Democrat fundraiser in his honor.

“We suspect speed wasn’t an issue,” stated KCSD Officer Bill Lumpkin. “He just appeared to have lost his train of thought and ran right off the road.”

No injuries or property damage were reported. “The Escort is a pretty light car,” said Lumpkin. “It can’t do damage to much of anything. About the only problem reported was regarding some ducks who were frightened. It took awhile to get his car out because it got stuck in a wetland.”

Gore spokesperson Paul Reubens had no comment beyond acknowledging the accident happened, and that Gore was thankful he had not driven his good car, the ’87 Tempo.

Although Gore was more than an hour late to the dinner, nobody seemed to notice. Actually, all three in attendence occupied themselves by playing Scrabble in the country club’s sitting area.

Even in his muddy suit and shoes, Gore was able to make his speech. No media were available to provide a transcript and the attendees were quite drunk by the time he started. Interviews revealed sketchy details, but it is believed he talked about how he dislikes the Bush administration and how thankful he was that his environmental record included saving the wetland that softened his landing.