Appalachian Spa to open

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Appalachian Spa prototype

Appalachian corn farmer and venture capitalist, John Clark, is opening a chain of Appalachian Spas throughout Knoxville and the surrounding counties.

The closure of several Asian spa locations, due to recent legal indiscretions, left a market niche temporarily unfilled. Local folks, as well as visitors funneling through the Knoxville airport, have been without an acceptable method of stress release. Mr. Clark hopes that his new offerings will be able to provide services that are sorely missed while adding a distinct Appalachian feel.

Each spa location will feature the relaxing sound of ‘Dueling Banjos’ and all visits will end with a surprise Appalachian ‘delight’.

Offerings for men will include:

1. Attitude Adjustment
Your metabolism feels sluggish. Even the “good things” in life lead to over-indulgence (visiting your cousin, showering with friends, meatloaf, boxed wine, sheep�) indulge instead in our Attitude Adjustment, and herbal body wrap to detoxify and maximize your health with well being and beauty.
Extracts of corn and exotic African peppers combine pure essences of yeast, mold, basil and eucalyptus to ignite your body�s self-cleansing mechanisms. You�ll be in a state of balance, both inside and out, your skin firm and glowing, and your senses calmed.
[6 chickens or cash equivalent.]

2. Body Moistening
This skin moistening treatment can be added to any spa service. By soaking you in a mixture of cow and goat milk this treatment gently exfoliates rough, dry and stressed skin, leaving it soft and moisturized.
[4 chickens or cash equivalent.]

3. Hair Removal
A specialized hair removal system that removes unwanted hair with only minor discomfort. By quickly rubbing corncobs along the treatment area unwanted hair is gently removed.
[2 chickens or cash equivalent.]