BREAKING NEWS: UT Researchers announce ‘Morning Before’ pill

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TENNESSEE (KP) – Just as the FDA is considering over-the-counter availability of Plan B, often known as the ‘Morning After’ pill, University of Tennessee researchers have developed and are seeking approval for a controversial new Morning Before pill. Full details have not been given to the press, but the Morning Before pill works by having two major affects on the female system. First; it spurs the instant beginning of a menstrual cycle, and secondly; it produces a musky/male odor. The full list of chemical ingredients of the drug is unavailable, but sources hint that it is mostly made from the sweat of LPGA tour members.