After cracking down on so-called “head shops” for selling synthetic marijuana, the Knoxville Police Department and District Attorney General’s Office began cracking down on shops that sell other synthetic herbs. Each of the shops participated in the illicit sell or trade of synthetic oregano, thyme, parsley, and rosemary. “When food is prepared using these synthetic [...]
A new study shows that low IQ is linked to conservative beliefs and prejudice. Those with the lowest IQs tend to make poor public decisions that are harmful to those around them. This activity is being called the ‘Campfield Quotient’ and has a sliding scale that can be used to predict the likelihood of potentially harmful [...]
Amidst the controversy surrounding her uniquely high salary and bonus structure provided by Knoxville Tourism and Sports Corporation, Gloria Ray is expected to announce her resignation in the coming days. Knoxville’s exploratory 2020/2024 Olympic Committee is rumored to have offered her a competitive salary to join their efforts. Her new role will help jump-start Knoxville’s stalled efforts [...]
Continue Reading →Sometime in early summer 2012, the Old Gringo Productions release of Victor Ashe: The Musical is set to debut at the Tennessee Theater. In development for nearly 5 years, the production tells the tale of Victor Ashe’s rise to fame and fortune as the Ambassador to Poland, set to the music of Queen. It chronicles [...]
Continue Reading →Anonymous sources have confirmed that, if chosen as the Republican nominee for President, Mitt Romney will name Hillary Clinton as his VP running mate. “The implications of this move are astounding,” explained Republican strategist Burt Elefante. In order to secure Ms. Clinton on the ticket, Romney had to promise there was at least an 80% [...]
Continue Reading →Based on the news yesterday that Stacey Campfield was denied service at a restaurant most Knoxvillians thought closed for good in 1986, astute Knoxpatch.com staff began calling other local eateries to check their policies on refusing service to customers of various levels of notoriety. Bill Lockmith, manager of Ruth’s Chris Steak House, told us they [...]
Continue Reading →Burger King is rolling out a new program for home delivery. “We have new technology that will keep your burger and fries warm while being delivered,” states the King.
Folks are asking why Tennessee? “Tennessee has our largest target demographic, closest to our locations,” says the King, “With only a 10 mile delivery area, we [...]
Continue Reading →Oak Ridge officials claim the closure of Sears in the Oak Ridge Mall is just the silver lining in a cloud they’ve been looking for. “Our long-term plan for the space has been to create the world’s largest climate controlled storage facility,” explains Mark Watson, Oak Ridge City Manager. “We have an aging population, and [...]
Continue Reading →In our ongoing effort to dumb down our children, state lawmakers have introduced legislation to change the cut-off date to enter kindergarten. Under current state law, the child has to turn five by September 30 in order to enter kindergarten. If passed, the new bill will introduce the following changes:
The child must turn eight [...]
Continue Reading →Former Judge, Richard Baumgartner, is planning to make the most of the pension he’s receiving from his time and good deeds on the bench. “I’m not ready to retire, I want to continue to be an active part of this community,” stated Baumgartner. “Therefore, I’m reinvesting my pension funds to open a new pain clinic [...]
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- Ten more shops closed for selling synthetic herbs - http://t.co/RglXTh70 http://t.co/gtOxiz17
- New study proves Stacey Campfield isn’t a bad person, he just has a low IQ.... http://t.co/kqpFe7VV
- Gloria Ray to step down from KTSC, take on Knoxville’s Olympic bid - http://t.co/RglXTh70 http://t.co/KjULe6VL
- Victor Ashe: The Musical set to debut - http://t.co/RglXTh70 http://t.co/XOULWWP5
- On our way to Market Square to see if we can get any service at a restaurant due to our notoriety and exceptional anonymity.
- Romney has surprise up sleeve - http://t.co/RglXTh70 http://t.co/Nc3BKeHT
- Large precarious rock hanging over I-40 West Bound in Cocke County told reporters that it is waiting on Stacey... http://t.co/msDbNVA8
- Stacey Campfield still welcome in some Knoxville restaurants - http://t.co/RglXTh70 http://t.co/KXI4whzk
- Stacey Campfield allowed to eat at Ruth's Chris Steak House. "We only deny service to poor people," says manager.
- Paul Reubens may enter Republican presidential primary.
