Knox County candidates to undergo steroid and sex testing


An unnamed Knoxville attorney and Boss Hogg impersonator has requested that all candidates for 2008 elections undergo sex testing.

For weeks now, members of a special ‘genital committee’ have been designing a special laboratory to determine the sex of any candidates taking part in this year’s election. “Suspected candidates will be evaluated from their external appearances and then tickled until they giggle,” says a printed statement from the attorney. “The tone of the giggle will clearly define the sex of the candidate, and often provide insight into overall sexual orientation.”

The reasoning behind the testing is unknown at this time, but we have heard that many of the candidates are excited about the attention.


  1. Something for you to investigate:
    There’s unconfirmed word that Knox County Commission has violated the “no commissioner left behind act” and will have to work very hard to meet the “benchmark”.
    Those guidelines were set by Dr’s. Moe and Curly Howard, and Dr. Larry Fine.

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