Knoxville mayor crosses street; confuses chickens


Knoxville mayor Victor Ashe crossed Gay Street this morning on his way to get a cup of coffee and distracted a group of chickens crossing the other way. It was not immediately apparent why the chickens were crossing the street at that time. There has been a ban on farm animals in the downtown area since the infamous Goat Riot of 1897.

By the time the mayor reached the other side, two chickens had fallen into a storm drain, one had gotten completely lost, and three others found themselves stuck under a parked car. When he walked back with his cup of coffee, two more chickens fell into the storm drain in shock. Reporters attempts at questioning the chickens resulted in garbled transcript. Witnesses stated that Mayor Ashe did not even acknowledge the chickens.

Barry Jacobsen, outspoken leader of the National Foundation for Chicken Rights (Knoxville Chapter), immediately called for a petition to be circulated in an attempt to recall the mayor. “His disregard for the short attention span of these intellectually-challenged farm chickens frightens me. Imagine what he could do to the budget!” As of late this afternoon, the signature count was up to three. The NFCR will be setting up a booth at East Towne Mall later this week to collect signatures and donations.

Repeated calls to Mayor Ashe’s office went unanswered.