KPD embraces trolley system

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Drastic cutbacks to the city budget have forced the KPD to utilize the downtown trolley system. This move will not only present monthly savings but will provide a much-needed short-term cash infusion by allowing for an auction of many pre-owned police vehicles.

Although the new system will present a series of challenges, the new City Mayor has high hopes for the program. Until all the details are worked out, guidelines are being instituted for certain types of police and criminal activities. These guidelines are as follows:

  • 1. Criminal activity requiring a high speed police chase is to be scheduled through the Office of Special Events at least 48 hours prior. Any high-speed chase involving more than five streets will also require a special parade permit.
  • 2. Police are to be limited to two carry-on items each day. This does include a lunch as an individual separate carry-on.
  • 3. Loaning bicycles or giving a “lift” to on-duty police personnel can bring a fine of up to $500 during the first six months of the program because it may hamper the process transition.
  • 4. Service bonuses at varying levels will be presented to each KPD member that makes specific and measurable contributions to the new program. An example of such a service contributions would be arresting three criminals and scheduling to bring them all in at the same time to improve efficiency. It should be noted that in such a situation the KPD officer would NOT be allowed additional space for any carry-on items.

    If this program proves successful, the business plan outlining the system will be sold on eBay for additional income, hopefully generating enough cash to by a new computer for the KPD so that they may watch for similar deals on eBay.

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