Obama team courts Mike Tyson as new spokesperson

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After a healthcare activist bit off the finger of a counter-demonstrator, it didn’t take Obama’s advisors long to realize they were onto something big.

“Clearly, those that would be in favor of the healthcare reform as currently outlined would have a unique perspective and thought process. In order to best reach these people, we need someone that speaks their language,” says one of Obama’s top advisors. “As we’ve seen, they are likely the type to bite one another and fight. And who better to speak both of these languages than Mike Tyson?”

Although Mike Tyson’s publicist would not confirm or deny any upcoming alliances with President Obama, it’s interesting to point out that he did not bite anyone when asked. To our reporters, that’s the same as admission.