Tennesseans Set to Vote on Amendment Encouraging Pregnant Women to Consider Abortion

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As the polls opened for early voting across Tennessee yesterday, all eyes were on the ballot initiatives, especially Amendment 2.  Pro-abortion groups are eagerly anticipating passage of the first-of-its kind constitutional amendment that will encourage ALL pregnant woman to consider abortion as an alternative to going through with their pregnancies.

“Tennessee isn’t usually known for its progressive politics or reforms, but we are encouraged by this happy turn of events,” explained supporter and Planned Parenthood advocate Jane Denver.  “No woman should have to put up with a child if she doesn’t want to, and some women don’t clearly think through the stress of having a little snotty nosed brat around all the time.  Have you ever had a kid throw up on you?  It sucks. Vote ‘yes’ on 2!”

Edward Zwick, the author of Amendment 2, expects it to pass.  “Our poll numbers indicate that we should get over 50% of the votes we need.  This is an off-year election, and since usually only about 300 people around the state turn out to vote, we are encouraged,” he said.  “Our listservs are active in getting voters bused in from California and New York, so we are very optimistic,” he added.

Amendment 2 will make any pregnant woman attend a mandatory class to see what having a child is really like.  The expectant mothers will be puked on inside of vehicles.  They will experience temper tantrums in public settings such as churches, restaurants, and flea markets.  They will be forced to watch 17 straight hours of PBS Kids.  Although fathers are encouraged to attend, many of them usually cannot be located so attendance by the father will not be mandatory.