Dr. Shumaker, embattled University of Tennessee President, has issued an apology for all past actions and declares that he doesn’t actually remember anything that has happened since moving to Tennessee. Lawyers for Dr. Shumaker claim that he has been suffering from a rare disorder by the name of stupidous assism which causes certain individuals to…
Day: August 8, 2003
Students to recall Shumaker
Joe Binkley was researching University of Tennessee policies as part of his doctoral thesis when he came across a little known school policy. Passed in 1911, the rediscovered policy allows for University presidents to be recalled if the signatures of at least 32 students can be collected and submitted to the school’s Board of Special…
University of Tennessee utilizes invisible fencing to keep Shumaker’s expenses down
President Shumaker has been in the press repeatedly over the past months for various alleged indiscretions…all of which center around exorbitant spending habits. These allegations are casting a poor light on the University as a whole and it was decided by the Board of Trustees that some changes must be made. UT will soon install…