Bonnaroo 2012 in danger as moonbats learn about MP3’s and CDs


As the 80,000+ Bonnaroo attendees wandered about in the heat and stench of one-another, awaiting music, one of the bands made an announcement that has already caused quite a ruckus. “This is off our last CD,” stated the lead member of Vermicular Doggie. And the mud pit went silent, as knowledge crept through the crowd.

Within hours, word had spread that there were ways to hear music without heat, body odor, sleeping in tents, death, hunger, and putting up with hippies up-close.

Organizers are already feeling the ramifications, with thousands of attendees going home early. “The event will continue in 2012,” states representatives from AC Entertainment, the event organizer. “We’re simply going to adjust the entertainment schedule to only invite bands that don’t have music available via other methods. If they have a CD or downloadable music, they’re just not going to be invited. This should be best for everyone involved.”