Knoxville archeologist uncovers prototype for the wheel


On a practice dig local archeologist William Cross discovered what he claims to be the prototype for the wheel. ‘It’s important for an archeologist to practice his craft,’ claims Mr. Cross ‘so I’ve been visiting landfills on weekends to practice my digging. It’s usually rather easy work, mainly just sifting through old Metropulse newspapers that have been used to line birdcages.’

On a recent dig, however, Mr. Cross didn’t stop when he reached the bottom of the trash. He dug down another 247 feet and found the remains of a small settlement. Stacks of stones ranging from perfectly square to egg-shaped were found. It appears that the settlement of what may have been the original Knoxpatch civilization had almost discovered that round was the proper shape of a wheel when cataclysmic flooding destroyed them all.

Mr. Cross feels that Knoxville will gain instant fame and popularity due to the significance of this find, ‘We all know that the invention of fire and the wheel marked important turning points in the development of man and society. Without fire we couldn’t burn our old tires, and without tires the firemen couldn’t show up in time to assist the rednecks in putting out big tire fires.’