Not the actual house we're talking about, it's not even in Knoxville

A single home has been found that avoided damage during the storms that have deluged Knoxville in 2011. The house, located near the Historic 4th & Gill neighborhood, has struck fear in the hearts of nearby residents.

“It’s the work of the devil,” explains Mayor Brown. “The gutters, roof, siding, they’re all perfect. It’s just not possible.”

“Although proof of satanic intervention isn’t readily available, protective measures must be taken,” added a 4th & Gill resident. “The homeowner, Mary Worth, must be dealt with immediately, preferably by burning her at the stake.”