Mark Sentell recently had an epiphany. “I was sitting on the toilet, you know, after eating several bowls of my wife’s chili, and suddenly I realized that the universe is freaking huge, man,” he exclaimed, “it’s totally funny how you do your best thinking on the toilet. Or the lawnmower.” Experts agree that the universe truly is large, but none claim to know the precise size. “Yes, Mr. Sentell is correct,” explained ORNL scientist Ingmar Humperdink, “the universe is very large, and most common people do not ever realize that fact. Mr. Sentell should consider himself lucky. And insignificant.”