Loch-Ness Monster spotted on Volunteer Landing – name changes from ‘Nessie’ to ‘Knoxie’

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2097

Several appearances of a strange creature in the Tennessee River at Volunteer Landing have been reported in recent weeks, leading many locals to think that the Loch-Ness Monster has migrated to Knoxville.

Although the trip from Scotland would be very difficult for a prehistoric creature, it isn’t completely impossible according to scholars with NIDS (National Institute for Discovery Science, on the web at WWW.NIDSCI.ORG) that specialize in the paranormal and events that generally defy explanation. They have proposed a theory that ‘Knoxie’ made the trip by hours of swimming and the very unsafe practice of hitchhiking on passing ships of questionable reputation.

For Knoxville residents the question of ‘Why?’ is more relevant than ‘How?’ when discussing the sudden appearance of the creature in Knoxville. Most seem to believe that the creature chose to relocate to be closer to the Dogwood Arts Festival due to a nearly insatiable desire for funnel cakes and corn dogs.