Candidate Red Brown

In a surprise announcement yesterday, Knox County native Red Brown has decided to enter the race for mayor of Knoxville. Although his entry comes a bit late and he has a lot of catching up to do with his campaign, he feels that he has a chance. “I’m determined to leg’lize coon huntin’ in Kratch Park,” he said in an exclusive interview. “And that ain’t all! I spec to make lots of changes all ’round,” he added. “Take fer instance that 5th Avenue Motel. Ain’t nobody figgered out what to do about that. I reckon we’ll turn it into a pool hall. I hear there ain’t enough pool halls in East Knoxville.” Brown’s campaign coordinator, Bruce Loren Levin, contends that Red Brown will appeal to Knoxville’s heritage and yearning for the past. “All this discussion among candidates about historic preservation demonstrates that a candidate who is the most in touch with Knoxville’s past has the best chances of becoming Knoxville’s next mayor,” said Levin.