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ORNL scientists prove that not everybody loves Raymond

Posted on December 30, 2002 by Bjorn Knoxley

Scientists at Oak Ridge National Laboratories have confirmed what many have long believed. Not everyone loves Raymond.

A series of double-blind studies, conducted over a period of three years, has uncovered certain genetic factors making it possible for certain males not to love Raymond. Factors leading to possibly not loving Raymond are as follows:
1. Two albino parents.
2. History of heart-disease on the mother’s side of the family.
3. Allergic reaction to potatoes on the mother’s side of the family.
4. Ability to trace father’s family tree to Abraham Lincoln or Grandpa Jones.

Only one test subject could be found meeting this strict set of criteria and he distinctly noted that he really really liked Raymond, but just didn’t feel love. It is important to note that not all males meeting the above criteria will dislike “Everybody Loves Raymond”, but it is a distinct possibility.

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