Late last night, Clinton Highway Wal-Mart Parking Lot Rent-a-Cop Allen Harvey reported finding “parking lot circles” near the Taco Bell corner of the Wal-Mart parking area. The circles are perfectly symmetrical and lined in such a way that he suspects aliens were involved.
“These circles were just too perfect to have been put there by humans. The circles are symmetrical and if you look closely, even the burns have a distinct pattern,” said Harvey in an interview. “I’ve never seen anything like it, not in my whole three days working here!”
He discovered them while touring around the parking lot in his covered golf cart. With the orange flashing light strangely illuminating the circles and an eerie warm breeze, he fled to safety and called in Knox County Sheriff’s Department investigators to the scene.
KCSD Investigator Arty Milquetoast said that he was not sure whether aliens drive 1993 Honda Civics with size 185/60-14 Michelin Energy MXV4 tires, but he will check into it. Harvey is regarded as a material witness and has been put into the local witness protection program. He now patrols the Walker Springs Wal-Mart under the assumed identity “Harvey Allen.”