President Bush declares man’s backyard as disaster area

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Johnny Balls has a backyard that is suffering greatly from the severe drought affecting East Tennessee. He has been hit so hard by a lack of rain that his grass is turning brown. “My grass was doing so well earlier this year, all my neighbors was complimenting me,” explained Balls, “and now look at it! There is dirt patches everywhere, and it’s all brown!” His front yard is shaded, so has not been affected by the drought like his backyard. Balls sent an email to President Bush about his plight, and Bush responded by declaring his backyard a disaster area until some rain falls. “What does it mean? I don’t really know,” said Balls, “but I’m sure glad the Federal Government is willing to step up when needed! Hey, I gotta go though, I think I hear helicopters landing!”