President Bush halts Halloween

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“With the tax cuts I’ve given to Americans, they don’t need to beg for candy.” states President Bush. “Each family now saves at least enough in a year to buy a bag of almost any candy they want. And how does it make us look to other countries, to dress up like Bill Clinton and other scary people and go door-to-door begging?” This surprise announcement has caught many off guard, but political analysts think the decision was based solely on the fact that President Bush is upset about having to work that night and not being able to go out trick-or-treating.