President Bush signs controversial energy bill: Government to clone dinosaurs and bury them to make more oil

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President Bush, on Monday, supposedly signed an energy bill recently passed by Congress after a four-year battle. However, Knoxpatch has learned that Bush secretly replaced the document at the last minute and signed his own energy bill into law.

Sources say that little of the original $14.5 billion legislation of the original document is included in Bush’s version, written on a handful of napkins from Hooters.

“Mandy,” Bush’s favorite Hooter girl is actually credited with most of the content of the clever document. As outlined on the napkins, “First, like in that movie from when Spielberg still made good ones, we will clone a whole bunch of dinosaurs, enough to fill the Grand Canyon. Then we can kill them and dump them into the canyon and cover it with dirt. Then when the dinosaurs turn into oil we’ll have an entire canyon full.”
Although opinions are mixed as to whether this will actually work or not, the general consensus is that it’s at least better than the time President Bush reinstated legalized slavery on a document created on the back of a McDonald’s tray liner.