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President buys 1,000,000 George W. Bush masks

Posted on December 10, 2004 by Bjorn Knoxley

Stinging from the loss of the first Presidential debate of the election, George W. Bush has changed strategies after receiving a bit of important information. Statistics show that Halloween mask sales have accurately determined every election since Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter in 1980. Therefore, logic dictates, that a win in November is guaranteed if the sales of George W. Bush masks can be boosted. With this knowledge at hand, President Bush has personally purchased 1,000,000 George W. Bush masks that are being provided as a government subsidy to farmers, allowing them to ‘pretty up’ their scarecrows.

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