Residents vote to close Westland Drive

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After debating for several hours at the latest meeting of the Westland Drive Homeowners Association, residents of the section between Morrell and Ebenezer voted unanimously to close the street to thru-traffic. “We just can’t have all these cars whizzing by all day long,” said resident Joel Barber. “I can’t even let my dogs play outside because they’ll get hit by a car.” Homeowner Ingmar Svenson said, “To Hell with everybody else who pays taxes to maintain these roads. We chose to live here knowing full well what traffic was like on this road, but now that we’ve taken over, we’re shutting it down. People can just take Kingston Pike or Northshore from now on. Screw ’em!” Citing such brave organizations as the Forest Heights Bridge Closers and Deane Hill Short Cut Relinquishers, the group plans to have the shutdown be effective immediately.