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Sevier resident receives demonic implant?

Posted on January 24, 2004 by Bjorn Knoxley

Ben Jacobs has been acting a bit odd lately, his friends are starting to worry. According to Ben, it all started when he visited his plastic surgeon for a nose job.

The surgery, however, did not go as promised. It appears that his surgeon (name withheld for legal reasons) has found it cheaper to steal noses from the local cemetary and put them on clients than to undergo the usual reconstructive methods.

This practice may have gone unnoticed for years, but the nose recently affixed to the face of Mr. Jacobs is causing problems.

“The day after the surgery everything seemed fine, it wasn’t until about the second week that the changes were apparent. Then I started noticing phantom scents. One day while sitting at breakfast I caught the scent of orange muffins. It was very odd, I was actually eating bacon and eggs…but the scent of muffins was undeniable. Since then, I have smelled several things that were nowhere to be seen. One time, I think I noticed the odor of flowers in my bathroom.”

Mr. Jacobs has suffered no other ill effects from the surgery, but is pursuing a 1 million dollar lawsuit to cover the mental anguish of never knowing when odd odors will pop up.

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