Sixteenth Harry Potter book leaked in Knoxville store

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Due to an inventory error, Knoxville bookseller Books-A-Million temporarily had copies of the 16th book in the Harry Potter series on shelves last week. According to Bob Boulder, who was able to purchase a copy, take it home, and read it before anyone noticed, the story follows the troublesome foursome on various middle-aged hi-jinx as they battle the evil forces of Love handles, Divorce, and Minivans. “It was still pretty darn good. Even though the publishing company paid me to keep quiet, they won’t know I talked as long as you keep me anonymous,” Boulder explained. Experts are not sure how the 16th book has already been written, but an anonymous software engineer from London has claimed to have written Potterware that author J. K. Rowling uses to randomly generate Harry Potter books from preset drama-formulas that mix up tales of mythology from various cultures with intrigue and modern-day sensibilities to create cookie-cutter tales of the young wizard. This, the skeptics claim, is why she seems puzzled sometimes when a character dies.