Tennessee Valley shedding water at an alarming rate


A new study indicates that the Tennessee Valley is shedding water at an alarming rate.  If nothing is done to stop it, all water in the Tennessee Valley will soon enter the Tennessee River, the Ohio River, the Mississippi River, and finally the Gulf of Mexico, causing ocean levels to rise.  The study, funded by a PAC, was conducted by independent scientist Ian Belland.

“Climate change is real,” explained Belland.  “As proof of that, my study has shown that water is leaving the Valley at an alarming rate.  ALL water is leaving.  If all the water leaves, that is a bad thing, as the water levels in all our streams, lakes, and rivers decrease,” he continued.

“Well yes, I received a sizable grant for my study.  From a PAC, but this isn’t politically motivated,” he told us on further questioning, “but that isn’t the point.  The point is that higher taxes, more legislation, plug-in hybrids, and limited flushing are the only solutions.”

When asked whether it would rain enough to offset the water losses, Belland admitted, “Well yes, rain will replace all or most of the shed water. Of course.  But I wasn’t asked to study that.”