#shiplap Lincoln Bedroom
An artist rendering of what the Lincoln Bedroom might look like after #shiplap is installed.

While the media and congress are distracted by the impeachment trial, Trump is taking the opportunity to further stamp his style on the White House. In what some are calling a “daring move,” Trump is set to redecorate the Lincoln Bedroom in the “Farm House” style while nobody is paying attention.

The key to this design overhaul will be appropriately whitewashed #shiplap, the slats of wood siding made famous by Chip and Joanna Gaines on their cancelled hit TV show, whatever it was called.

Other important design elements will include wall decor sourced from a flea market, personalized gold leaf tchotchkes throughout, custom-built furniture made of wood sourced from Trump’s great uncle Earl’s old barn, and a full suite of furniture provided by the designer that will be removed when filming is done unless Trump decides to buy it.

The design is expected to be complete before the impeachment trial.