This is just one of the signs now
required to be posted in the workplace.

A freak accident at TVA has brought about a new wave of OSHA regulations.

According to Brandy Raines, a relatively new office employee (name withheld for legal reasons) simply wasn’t working out. “She wasn’t performing in the way that we thought she would. Just the other day I asked for a packet of Equal for my coffee…she actually brought Sweet-N-Low! It just goes to show that you can’t expect pefection even if an employee does have a GED.”

According to a statement released by the company, Brandy was using AOL Instant Messenger to discuss the sub-par performance of her new employee with another employee. It had been decided that the new employee must be fired so Brandy asked the obvious question, “Who is canning (name withheld)?” Due to a slip of the finger, the actual message sent was, “Who is caning (name withheld)?”

Being eager to please, Kent Lauth, the message recipient volunteered to handle the task. Before anyone could stop him, Mr. Lauth had delivered a caning that many third-world countries would have found to be awe-inspiring.

When OSHA found out about the simple error at TVA they promptly shipped a FedEx package including an estimated 30 signs to be posted throughout the TVA towers that clearly show caning as unacceptable. A document outlining new regulations regarding workplace caning will be available online at OSHA’s website soon.