In an attempt to seem more human, Hillary Tracker has noticed that the junior senator from Arkansas New York is making an effort to bond with audiences around the country by trying to sound like them. Lately, the press has been reporting that Hillary has adopted a Southern accent in various public speaking engagements. In…
Day: April 24, 2007
Convention center seen as solution to rezoning problem
Knox County Schools is considering a drastic measure in response to all the “whining West Knoxville parents who would rather send their kids to an old, run-down school instead of a nice new shiny school that doesn’t have the word ‘Farragut’ written on it.” Since nobody seems to be happy sending their children to a…
Desperate Republicans to resurrect candidates
In a desperate attempt to become relevant for the 2008 presidential elections, some Republican strategists are scrambling to resurrect important dead historical Republican figures. Among the soon-to-be-living are Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan. “We just can’t get a break,” explained one strategist on condition of anonymity, “the Democrat candidates are hogging all the news stories,…