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Month: May 2008

Ragsdale proposes to balance budget by drilling for oil at Ijams Nature Center

Posted on May 15, 2008May 15, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

Calling the current budget draft too ‘optimistic,’ and trying to avoid raising property taxes, Mayor Mike Ragsdale has recommended that the 160-acre Ijams Nature Center be opened for oil and gas drilling. According to a statement on Mayor Ragsdale’s MySpace page, “In order to balance the Knox County budget, provide a proper education to your…

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Foster admits true intentions of Rosebud Lodge in Roane County

Posted on May 14, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

Gary Foster, the developer of a proposed adult campground in Roane County, has withdrawn plans for the clothing-optional camp and admitted his true intentions. “Since traveling through beautiful Roane County six years ago on a business trip, I haven’t been able to get those Roane County residents out of my mind.” explains Foster. “This was…

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IdleAire and IPIX to team up

Posted on May 14, 2008 by Bjorn Knoxley

Two of Knoxville’s highest profile tech company flops are set to team up to try to bail IdleAire out of the bankruptcy gutter. As soon as the court gives them the go-ahead, IdleAire is going to add IPIX cameras to their in-cab electric units so that truckers can take high quality virtual tour images of…

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Dream Ticket coming soon to a ballot near you?

Posted on May 13, 2008May 13, 2008 by Bjorn Knoxley

There has been much speculation as to whether the Democrats will assemble a Dream Ticket consisting of Obama for President and Clinton for Vice-President. Roving Knoxpatch reporters have uncovered a far more interesting rumor, a rumor so fresh it hasn’t even received Flashing Siren treatment on the Drudge Report. Insiders close to both candidates have…

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News Sentinel bringing success of smaller paper size to online media

Posted on May 13, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

After receiving generally positive reactions to the smaller print size of the daily paper, the Knoxville News Sentinel has announced plans to bring this new format to knoxnews.com as well. Beginning June 1, the online edition of the paper will be best viewed on 15-inch monitors.

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ORISE introduces social networking program for introverts

Posted on May 12, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

The Oak Ridge Institute for Science and Education (ORISE) announced today the development of a new social networking program for introverts. “One of the key purposes of ORISE is to educate the next generation of scientists,” explains the head of software development. “The key trait shared by this elite demographic of brainy people is that…

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Hillcrest-West says ‘Why would we want new patients? They’re old anyway’

Posted on May 12, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

Hillcrest-West, located on Middlebrook Pike, has been ordered not to admit new patients after violations were reported including violations of resident protection, administration, records and reporting, and nursing services standards.” Administrators were quick to point out that they don’t really care, because most of the patients are old anyway, and they just don’t really want…

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Mayor Ragsdale connected to revival of Kern’s bread?

Posted on May 9, 2008May 9, 2008 by Brehd Patchley

Fresh off controversy for investing in IdleAire in conjunction with passing federal funds to boost the company, Mayor Ragsdale may be under review for another business interest. Although Knoxpatch reporters have been off-duty for quite some time, and clearly rusty, our sources tell us that Ragsdale used County influence to strong-arm Food City to carry…

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