Month: June 2008

Those who attended Bonnaroo surely noticed that famed artist Pat Boone was not on stage this year. Boone, who had intended to play hits from his religious albums as well as some metal, mixed in with some motivational speaking, was apparently bumped at the last minute to make room for Kanye West. Blasting the organizers…

In this case we’re not even making up the news…just linking to it. And so I quote, “Why else would otherwise competent administrators and educators want to destroy the states most productive diary farm and most prominent symbol of Tennessee Agricultural education during the worst farming crisis since the dust bowl?” I guess, with the…

Concerned citizens have started a petition to encourage others to start a petition to make changes in Knox County government. With a theme of “Ragsdale simply sucks,” 100 volunteers worked Market Square this weekend to gain signatures encouraging a petition that would be utilized to scold Mayor Ragsdale and other members of the Knox County…

Johnny Balls has a backyard that is suffering greatly from the severe drought affecting East Tennessee. He has been hit so hard by a lack of rain that his grass is turning brown. “My grass was doing so well earlier this year, all my neighbors was complimenting me,” explained Balls, “and now look at it!…

Volunteer Ministry Center officials announced today an exciting new $6 million resort utilizing the 5th Avenue Motel. According to the VMC, they hope to make this a suitable place for homeless Knoxville residents to vacation and relax after long days of chasing the working class down the sidewalks. “We’re trying to guarantee a wonderful stay…

The Segway Shout, an annual rally of the two-wheeled contraptions, gets underway today in Knoxville. The event, being held for its second consecutive year, is expected to draw between 8-10 Segway enthusiasts to our city. A spokesperson for Segway Shout says that Knoxville is a perfect city for the rally because it’s very much up…

AP reports today indicate that Mayor Mike Ragsdale has undergone elective surgery to have his head replaced with a Magic 8-Ball, eliminating his need for pesky advisors. This is a risky move and we wanted to know if this truly is the case, if it’s safe, and if it could really improve how Knox County…

As various filings were made today for divorce and protection amongst the Vandergriff clan, the courts did the only thing they could do in order to protect the 7-year-old daughter of the couple. To engender moral stability, they have placed the girl in the protective custody of Amy Winehouse.

Knox County Clerk candidate Amy Henley-Vandergriff will hold a press conference today to address rumors that she is why Knoxville has become known as ‘The Couch.’ According to her campaign team, “The press conference is to be held on the steps of the courthouse, because Amy is spending a lot of time there nowadays.”

City officials announced today that the Abu Dhabi investment council has set plans in motion to acquire Knoxville’s landmark, the Sunsphere. The deal will bring an estimated $18,000 dollars to Knoxville coffers, more than double the estimated value of the building. The Sunsphere, which has defined the Knoxville skyline (for those driving in from just…

The Food and Drug Administration has issued a warning this evening that the health risk due to certain tomatoes has been extended to Grainger County, Tennessee. Although no Grainger County tomatoes have caused salmonella, they have attacked at least six people. No decision has been made as of yet to how this will impact the…

Food City has carved a new niche by restoring brands of yesteryear, brands that we all once loved and somehow let fall by the wayside. Recent offerings include Kern’s Bread, Kay’s Ice Cream and Lay’s Meats. Continuing this trend, they announced this morning that World’s Fair Beer will soon be back on the shelves. The…

Facing a 5.7 percent ($11.1 million) budget cut, a University of Tennessee spokesperson recently stepped forward to address what has worried us all the most. According to UT, “The millions spent on paying athletic coaches is not in jeopardy, we are cutting less needed items such as the Department of Audiology and Speech Pathology and…

She was holding out for a VP position, but sometimes things just don’t work as planned. Insiders say that Hillary has been approached by Obama’s campaign to consider working as a maid and handling light yard duties at the White House. Clinton has gone on record as saying she would at least consider it, if…