After her recent trip to Israel, Madonna has decided that Kabbalah and Judaism are just not for her. “I’ve tried being a Catholic, a Jew, a Hindu, Taoist, Maoist, and Buddhist. Nothing makes me feel complete, even with all this money,” she explained. “Now that I am dating Jesus, it only makes sense for me…
Month: September 2009
Conservatives seek alternative to Obama school speech
In the midst of the uproar over Obama’s alleged “indoctrination” speech next week aimed at school children, conservative parents have been mulling over ideas for an alternative activity for their children to participate in. Ideas being tossed around include showing Sarah Palin’s speech from the Republican National Convention and having the children read and discuss…
Obama team courts Mike Tyson as new spokesperson
After a healthcare activist bit off the finger of a counter-demonstrator, it didn’t take Obama’s advisors long to realize they were onto something big. “Clearly, those that would be in favor of the healthcare reform as currently outlined would have a unique perspective and thought process. In order to best reach these people, we need…
Executive order will alter Pledge of Allegiance
Keeping with his school children theme, Obama is expected to sign an executive order changing some of the lines in the Pledge or Allegiance. This is designed to coincide with his video message to students and will be among the items handed out. Various celebrities will be recorded reciting the new pledge in an effort…