After a spectacularly disappointing performance at the 2006 Winter Olympics, Bode Miller has quickly accepted the only advertising contract to come his way. Bode will be the first official spokesperson of Knoxville Bolt & Screw, Inc., a distributor of bolts, turnbuckles, screws, nuts and fasteners. When asked why he accepted the offer with such a small firm, Bode sat down his beer and said, “Well, I’m a big fan of screws and stuff. Without them, hardware stores wouldn’t have anything to sell in those little plastic boxes. How stupid would they look then?” On behalf of Knoxville Bolt & Screw, Inc., Dicky Jiggler says that contracting Bode Miller was not as expensive as people assume. “Bode’s contract isn’t really taking that much from our marketing budget. Basically, he’s doing this for Moon Pies and all the turnbuckles he wants. We’ve laughed about this a lot in the office, because nobody thinks Bode really knows what a turnbuckle is. He keeps asking who will be doing it.”
