Bruce Pearl’s sweat rumored to bring miracles

Posted on by Bjorn Knoxley

In Coach Pearl we trust? Over the past few months, stories have begun to circulate regarding the miraculous powers of Tennessee Basketball coach Bruce Pearl’s sweat.

Although the specific properties of this miracle fluid have not been analyzed, believers say the facts speak for themselves. Just by being in the presence of Pearl’s sweat:

  • Thousands of people have forgotten how badly the UT Football team sucked
  • Whatever a Buzzball was, it has been completely erased from the memory of Knoxvillians
  • Women don’t get upset when the game is on television
  • Fans have stood in line in the cold for tickets to BASKETBALL games

    As amazing as these things sound, they pale in comparison to first-hand accounts of those that have actually touched Coach Pearl. One example of such a miracle is told by UT basketball fan, Michael Hammelton. “I had a horrible cold when I bumped into a sweaty Pearl after a game. But, just seven days after this event, the cold was completely gone.”