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News and abuse

Loudon County Sheriff’s Department To Shut Down

Posted on October 22, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

The LCSD, which has been on a nightmare roller coaster ride for the last 14 months – beginning with the murder of Deputy Jason Scott – is scheduled to close its doors next week. Sheriff Tim Guider, who seemed exasperated, was quoted as saying, “I’ve had officers shot, officers shoot themselves, officers arrested, officers indicted….

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Towelie ban put into effect in Karns

Posted on October 18, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Towelie ban put into effect in Karns

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Knox County landfill dirt donated to New Orleans

Posted on October 18, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

After setting up multiple temporary housing facilities to assist those impacted by recent hurricanes, the Volunteer spirit continues to shine in Knox County. Through a plan outlined by Mayor Ragsdale, every person in Knox County will be encouraged to take one bucket of fill-dirt to New Orleans and simply dump it out. According to the…

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New Year’s “Eye Ball Drop” plans go ahead

Posted on September 21, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Planning got underway early in the year for a new Knoxville New Year’s Eve celebration. Grand ideas were put into action by a team determined to bring a little bit of New York City to downtown Knoxville, with Market Square filling in for Times Square. At the TVA Towers end of the Square, a ball…

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Y-12 introduces 4-hour workday

Posted on September 17, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Y-12 union nixes ‘4/10’ Plant re-evaluating plan already applied to salaried workers By FRANK MUNGER, munger@knews.com September 17, 2005 OAK RIDGE Union leaders have rejected a proposed “4/10” work schedule at the Y-12 nuclear weapons plant, raising questions about whether the entire program will be scrapped. Kenny Cook, president of the Atomic Trades and Labor…

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BREAKING NEWS: Knoxville ravaged by freak brush fire

Posted on August 29, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Reports are coming in that a large portion of Knoxville has been all but destroyed by a rare inner-city brush fire. The cause of the blaze is unknown, but various individuals have been quick to point fingers and place blame. Rumors from the 4th and Gill Neighborhood point to the intense heat and friction created…

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Knoxville gets a huge-ass movie theater

Posted on August 22, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Now that we live out where Turkey Creek is actually convenient, we were delighted when plans got underway for a new Regal Cinema. Every Sunday morning as we did our Patriotic Duty© and shopped for groceries at the Wal-Mart Super Center (so sue me, they’re cheaper and have a better selection than anybody else, dang…

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One Knoxville healthcare system copes with uninsured patients

Posted on August 21, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

One Knoxville healthcare system has plans for coping with the 1000s of uninsured patients that are expected due to the changes in TennCare. “This hasn’t been announced to staff yet, so please keep the name of the healthcare system out of the story for now. Starting in October 2005, all uninsured patients are to report…

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Sixteenth Harry Potter book leaked in Knoxville store

Posted on August 16, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Due to an inventory error, Knoxville bookseller Books-A-Million temporarily had copies of the 16th book in the Harry Potter series on shelves last week. According to Bob Boulder, who was able to purchase a copy, take it home, and read it before anyone noticed, the story follows the troublesome foursome on various middle-aged hi-jinx as…

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Sapphire

Posted on August 15, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Knoxville had no need for another bar. Cha Cha is rather easy to access from West or Downtown, and Barley’s has every beer you’ll ever need (and a great pizza to go along with it). Then I heard about Sapphire. A place that was so sure of itself that it had no advertising and no…

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Bjorn drinks Captain Morgan, writes article

Posted on August 13, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

After spending 6 hours working on the next version of Knoxpatch.com followed by a half hour spent drinking a 32oz beverage containing 12 ounces of coke and the rest consisting of Captain Morgan Private Stock and ice, Bjorn Knoxley attempted to write an article. It was not very good, but he did it anyway. He…

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Contact Us

Posted on August 13, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

If you want to contact us, use the email addresses listed below. We will answer or respond as necessary in the order each request is received. You may also write a letter to the editor of any local paper if you so desire. Keep in mind the opinions expressed on this site are the opinions…

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Metropulse voted best source of what happened last month

Posted on August 13, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

hehe

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Knoxville school board budget passed: UPDATE

Posted on August 11, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

The Knox County school board has approved a $320 million budget. This budget does eliminate the middle-school Talented and Gifted program as well as two positions at the hands-on children’s center. From recent reports, my understanding is that the supplemental pay to coaches was left intact. (I apologize for not attempting to find satire in…

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IT workers learn they have been building chicken-coops

Posted on August 10, 2005 by Bjorn Knoxley

Employees of IT Solutions were traumatized today with the knowledge that their efforts over the past two years have been focused on building chicken-coops. Although much of the daily routine was handled on a series of computers, ‘special tasks’ were often assigned to employees that would disappear for weeks at a time before returning to…

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