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McGhee Tyson Airport alters screening, people no longer allowed on planes

Posted on August 11, 2006 by Bjorn Knoxley

Officials at McGhee Tyson Airport have found that most terrorist threats are coming from people and have changed security screening at airports across the country to prevent them from gaining entry onto a plane.

A spokesperson for McGhee Tyson Airport stated, “No people of any kind will be permitted on planes, some of them actually try to blow things up and that gets very costly. Aside from keeping the dangerous people out, we will no longer transport liquids or gels of any kind, or materials made primarily with Rayon. We don’t see the decrease in traffic as a problem, however, because we are going to use the excess capacity on the planes to help ship missiles to Israel.”

McGhee Tyson Airport is open 24 hours a day, every day of the year. The airport’s reservation and ticket counters open at 5 a.m. and close after the airline’s last outgoing flight.

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