The metropolitan Knoxville area was temporarily shut down this morning on rumors a snowflake had been spotted. News of the snowflake spread like wildfire and everything immediately ceased to function. Upon hearing the news, many motorists instinctively spun out on bridges, sped into ditches, slammed into guardrails, and rammed into each other. Stores sold out of milk, bread, and toilet paper within 20 minutes. Eventually, everyone caught on and realized there was nothing to be alarmed about, and the city crept back to full functional capacity.
