UFO sightings have been reported throughout West Knoxville in alarming numbers throughout 2002. The past month has brought an even more dramatic increase, with as many as 10 sightings being reported weekly (nearly twice the number of sightings typically reported in all of Knoxville).
The exact cause for the increased traffic over the skies of West Knoxville has not yet been determined, although several theories have circulated. According to a telephone poll conducted by an out of work organ grinder and two local activists; most Knoxvillians seem certain that the extra-terrestrial visitors are looking for possible retirement communities. The Knoxville Association of Baptists recently released a statement inferring that the space visitors are circling close enough to the planet to enact mind control devices that will sway residents to vote for a state lottery.
On an uplifting note, cattle mutilations have not shown an increase and are holding steady at 2.3 per month in Knoxville and for the third straight year anal probing has continued a slow but steady decline.