Vern Taylor has lived on his East Knoxville farm for 60 years, raising cattle and growing Silver Queen corn. He is a great friend and good neighbor, according to neighbors and friends, but he just has bad luck. Taylor has been struck 112 times by meteors while working his fields. “It ain’t never the cattle…
Day: April 20, 2003
Focus group discusses ways to improve Knoxville
A focus group, comprised mostly of activists from Nine Counties One Vision, met last week to discuss issues related to Knoxville, the surrounding area, and what could be done to make it better. The leading theory coming from the group is that Knoxville simply needs more restaurants. Holly Heathrow, the group’s spokeswoman, said that they…
Trading Spaces to feature Tennessee Theater, Market Square
An episode of the popular Learning Channel show “Trading Spaces” is scheduled to be filmed in Knoxville sometime in February, sources say. The show features two groups of people, usually neighbors, who swap keys to transform a room in each other’s home. They have two days, a set budget of $1000, and they are not…
University of Tennessee lobbies for ‘Big-Orange’ terror alert
Claiming partial ownership of ‘orange’, the University of Tennessee has began lobbying for an adjustment to the color-coded terror-alert system. The current system is outlined as follows: Green — Normal. This is the lowest level of threat. Blue — Guarded. This signifies a continuing general threat of terrorist activity. Yellow — Serious. Yellow indicates an…
Man runs away from circus, joins Knoxville
Comet Man breaks away from the circus to join Knoxville. Better known as Comet Man by his friends, Human Cannonballer Matthew Johnson recently ran away from Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus as it passed through Knoxville. Mr. Johnson said that he has dreamed of running away from the circus and opening a tattoo…
Time traveling hippy stops in Knoxville
The time-traveling hippy stops in Knoxville. A time traveling hippy, known only as Hemp, made a stop in Knoxville over the weekend. Little is known about Hemp. Rumors abound, but a common thread is that sometime in late 1967, in a state of “enlightenment,” Hemp had a revelation and built his time machine from various…
Fourteen City of Knoxville employees stricken with stigmata?
Fourteen city employees, all working on the third floor of the City-County building in downtown Knoxville, have been stricken with an odd affliction that some are claiming to be stigmata. It appears that several employees recently developed daily migraines. Soon after the headaches began, bleeding around the temple was clearly noticeable. Although this was an…
Man excited about crockpot
Among the culinary literate, the idea of a crockpot is old. Its timeless functionality a must for chefs everywhere, crockpots are used to conjure up a medley of fine cuisine with a minimal of effort. From pot roasts to chicken, from chili to cobbler, the crockpot is both versatile and easy to operate. That is…
New motorsport rivals NASCAR
Gearheads in the Knoxville area are turning their attention away from NASCAR, the Indy 500, and even drag racing, and devoting their talents and ambitions to the motorsport taking the area by storm: lawnmower racing. Racing lawnmowers has been a recognized sport for some time, but until recently, it had not caught on in the…
Local protester confused
Knoxville has a much larger network of organized protesters than many people may think. This was evidenced during President Bush’s recent visit to Knoxville to promote volunteerism, when he was interrupted by two organized protesters shouting “free hot lunches!” Since that time, the underground network of protesters has grown considerably, and they line up to…
Clinton man sues Keebler Elves
Clinton resident Earl Anderson has filed a lawsuit against the Keebler Elves alleging racist product naming. The lawsuit, filed last week, claims that the Keebler Elves knowingly packaged and sold a product that disparaged white people. His legal team is trying to get the case upgraded to a class-action lawsuit on behalf of all disparaged…
