People from all over East Tennessee are once again joining together in support of a culture they having nothing in common with for the greater good. In response to the recent destruction of a fire engine during the military action in Baghdad a group of Knoxville’s most prominent citizens have started a grassroots effort to…
Day: June 11, 2003
Tennessee’s self-proclaimed first lottery winner steps forward
Although the lottery has not yet become official in Tennessee, Mark Hanson has proclaimed himself the first lucky winner. “I’ve been saving for this opportunity for 20 years! Saving every penny for the day that the God-given right to buy lottery tickets is realized in Tennessee. When the time comes, I’ll be able to buy…
Knoxville PR company hired to put positive spin on SARS
Rumor has it that Moxley Carmichael, East Tennessee’s premier public and media relations firm, has been hired by the WHO to put a positive spin on the SARS epidemic. With hundreds of firms competing for the contract this is a major coup for the Knoxville-based firm. Representatives from within the company seem excited at the…
Barber replaced by paper towels
Missy Cooley, a business owner and popular local by any standard, has been replaced by a giant package of Bounty paper towels. Cooley is co-owner of the Mulberry Street Barber Shop in Loudon, and “the girl in the middle.” She is normally flanked by her business partner, Rex Mingie, and his younger brother, Nick. Unfortunately…
Home schoolers ask for equality, state answers
In the past several years, the State of Tennessee has gotten home schooling parents up in arms over what the home educators perceive to be unfair treatment of their charges. One mother – who asked to remain anonymous – listed the following proposed inequities: Requiring home schooled children to score higher on SATs than public…
Lenoir City plans for growth
Lenoir City, currently the largest of the small towns in Loudon County, is initiating a plan for even more growth in the future. According to Lenoir City mayor, Matt Brookshire, the plan has been in place for several years. He was simply waiting for some of it to take effect before revealing the city’s part…
Janitors within Union County school system forced to work without brooms
Due to the common link between witches and brooms, the Union County school system has taken all brooms away from the cleaning staff. According to school officials, other cleaning items were initially considered, but had various drawbacks. Dustbusters, for example, gave the appearance of a New-Age Pagan, making the dirt disappear as if by “magic”…