Month: February 2005

As a proposed state constitutional ban on gay marriages picks up speed, a battle with further reaching implications is being fought in Sevierville. Mayor Bryan Atchley is leading the charge to ban redneck marriages. Although it’s clear to many folks that rednecks simply shouldn’t be allowed to wed, the negative impact for the economy of…

Sales of sex toys for the holidays are down this year, a trend being reported nationwide. Local Swedish erotica store owner Marshal Matthews said sales in his store, although brisk, are off by about 15% from last Christmas. “I don’t know if people are more satisfied this year, or if that damn moral fiber from…

Recently, Knoxpatch.com reported on a group of people who have been brainstorming new and unique downtown attractions. We recently discovered that the group has secretly commissioned a giant shoe to be placed in the center of Market Square. The shoe stands 16 feet tall and is 20 feet long. The shoe is due for completion…

In a move seen as a victory for historic preservationists, the Smith-Coughlin House was back in one piece early the next morning after it was destroyed. The house, apparently exhibiting a strange survival instinct, rebuilt itself overnight in finer form than when it was torn down. It apparently upgraded itself to include a full Nortel…

In the last few years, there has been a push to develop attraction destinations in downtown Knoxville in an attempt to draw visitors, residents and non-residents alike. So far, all ideas have been stolen from other communities, to include convention centers, movie theaters, bus transit stations, aquariums, planetariums, a rodeo complex, and legalized prostitution. Sick…

A new bed and breakfast will soon open in Knoxville, offering an alternative to the big box hotel chains that have been a blight upon the community. This not-Econo-Lodge is located in an old Victorian Greek Revival Post Modern Arts and Crafts style home in the heart of an old neighborhood teeming with character. The…

An anonymous source within the school board has confirmed that the location for the new West Knoxville high school has been selected. Instead of condemning around 40 acres of prime private real estate off Dutchtown Road, the school will now be located downtown in the old Whittle Communications building. “That building just looks like a…