Day: July 22, 2006

TENNESSEE (KP) – To best avoid the encroaching societal pressures and technological advancements, regional Amish are moving into the sewers. Knox County Government officials have gone on record supporting the move, stating that it will free up a great deal of land while helping to keep the sewers clean. Calls placed to the Amish to…

TENNESSEE (KP) – The Library of Congress decided today to exercise a little-known power to strike written or audible history from all historical record. In the first use of such power since supposedly destroying the newly discovered Book of GWB from the Bible in 1802, they have decreed unanimously to remove all music created between…

TENNESSEE (KP) – Oodles, owned by embattled entrepreneur Scott West, has failed a recent health inspection due to a massive Smurf infestation. According to Oodles Chef, Bruce Bogartz, it has been impossible to get the Smurfs out of the building. “They are simply drawn to the mushrooms that Scott was growing in the back room….