Alexander Inn to accept reactor fuel from Y-12

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As a last-ditch effort to save the Alexander Inn, members of the Oak Ridge Revitalization Effort (ORRE) have made arrangements to accept and process never-used reactor fuel from Y-12 nuclear weapons plant. The materials, previously slated for disposal in Nevada, will be shipped directly to the Alexander Inn at substantial savings.

A spokesman for ORRE has stated that the reactor fuel is actually going to improve the value of the dilapidated property. “Really, by trying to save this building, we’ve been trying to save a pile of crap. Radioactive waste has a much higher value, and should increase the value of the property.”