Board and lumber sales spike among democrats as election nears


The media has given a great deal of attention to the spike in gun sales during the 2012 election cycle, but according to local retailers, other items have spiked as well. Just as the Republicans have rushed to purchase guns in fear of Obama’s gun-control policies, Democrats have purchased 2 x 4’s and 4 x 4’s as quickly as they can be unloaded at Home Depot and Lowes.

According to one registered Democrat that wished to be anonymous, “If Romney is elected, we need to protect our rights to be martyrs. My plan is to build a large cross to have myself nailed to, and hope that other discouraged Democrats will do the same.”

Those interested in nailing themselves to a cross after the election can easily find directions for cross-building online. One recommended site is “Cross Making 101.”