Newcomer believes Knoxville isn’t round


Facing the scorn of the local community, recent newcomer to Knoxville, Stephen Kushner has proposed that Knoxville is nearly flat instead of round as traditionally accepted.

Throughout written history it has been generally accepted that Knoxville is round and that the rest of Tennessee rapidly revolves around Knoxville.

Soon after moving into his new downtown high-rise condominium Stepehn noted that he could see a large portion of Knoxville from his loft window. With 80% of Knoxville visible from one vantage point it lead him to believe that it simply isn’t possible for Knoxville to be round.

City officials have not commented on Mr. Kushner’s findings. They were, however, recently spotted across town taking multiple measurements and scratching their heads.