The list of names in the running for Knoxville’s 2003 mayoral race continues to grow. Several impressive names have either joined or expressed interest to date, including Bill Haslam, Bud Gilbert, Mike Ragsdale, and Tom Varlan. In a surprise twist a national celebrity has entered the race. Spaceghost made public his intention to enter the…
Local artist to display armored vehicle
Knoxville artist Hank Jessup plans to unveil his latest creation on Market Square next weekend. He was reluctant to speak to reporters about it, but after $45 worth of drinks at Macleod’s, he spoke freely to Knoxpatch.com for about three hours. “Honestly, it was inspired by something, but I can’t remember at the moment,” slurred…
Carp numbers on the decline; Naturalist worried
Naturalist Bev Scarboro has been studying Knoxville’s riverfront aquatic life for the past 30 years. According to her studies, carp numbers peaked during the 1982 World’s Fair, when children from around the world bought carp food and sprinkled it to hungry carp waiting below the TVA exhibit. Carp food machines were conveniently located around the…
Organizational meeting of anonymous K2Kers held at Wendy’s
A group of anonymous K2K list members got together at Wendy’s by Walker Springs for a support meeting Wednesday evening at 6:30. The organizer, Mr. Björn Knöxley, was unable to tell exactly how many people showed up. “I saw a potted plant move, and I’m pretty sure that was Brehd Patchley. There were several people…
Taco Bell test markets ‘City-Cups’ to increase voter turnout
Recent years have shown dramatic declines in voter turnout throughout the United States. In an impressive show of civic-duty Yumm Foods, parent company of Taco Bell, has announced the introduction of new ‘City-Cups’ that will be test marketed in Knoxville, Tennessee. Each ‘City-Cup’ will feature biographical information regarding local political candidates. In the months leading…
KRAP to be offered In 2003
Knoxville’s performing arts organizations are joining forces for one giant performance in 2003 rather than producing individual seasons. This cost-cutting measure is required due to declining ticket sales and decreased grant support from Knox County and the City of Knoxville. Enormous savings will be incurred by avoiding costly individual performances. June 21st, 2003 will mark…
You Could Be Interviewed Here
If you’ve made it to this point you definitely have some opinion about KnoxPatch. We want to talk to you about it. Were you born here? Did you escape from Ohio like 14.6567% of our current residents? If you would be willing to share your thoughts and ideas please let us know via the handy-dandy…
Knoxville resident takes on extra work task without being asked
Lake City native and Knoxville resident Charles Shire stunned colleagues this week by volunteering for an additional work assignment. On June 26th, sometime late in the evening in a completely unprecedented occurrence Charles was overheard saying “If anyone has any extra work I could help them with I would be happy to pitch in.†Although…
Knoxville man ejected from Promise Keepers for being introverted
Promise Keepers, one of the more noble movements since the Spanish Inquisition, have forced the resignation of Knoxville native, Cornelius Short. Mr. Short had been a member since July 3rd, 2001 and on review since December 2001. Promise Keepers is dedicated to igniting and uniting men to be passionate followers of Jesus Christ through the…
University of Tennessee takes advice of two football players – solves budget crisis
The University of Tennessee, facing slightly more than 50 million dollars in budget cuts for the 2003 fiscal year has bridged the funding gap with a groundbreaking move that could change the face of higher education in the United States. Two members of the University of Tennessee football team (the Volunteers) came forward on June…
15-car garage built at Knoxville area home
Most guys dream of one day owning a multi-car garage. Many hope to have a 3-car garage with workshop out back, complete with heat and air conditioning and air compressor system with air tools powerful enough to loosen even the tightest crank pulley nuts. If they had room and money, they would even add a…
Tse-tse flies on rise in East Tennessee
Knoxville farmer and amateur research entomologist Hubert Peters has determined that the tse-tse fly is on the rise in East Tennessee. His report, appearing in Knoxville Amateur Entomologist Farmers Journal states that he has observed at least 6 tse-tse flies in his fields over the last three years. Peters admitted in an interview that he…
New verse to ballad discovered, Kingston Pike to be renamed
Late last month, Sara Brown was rummaging around in her attic when she stumbled across an old box of letters and other documents. While reading through the items, she found what appeared to be a handwritten copy of the lyrics to The Ballad of Davy Crockett, the Disney song with lyrics written by Tom Blackburn….
Florida couple complain about curves
Bertha and Herman Silverstein were on their way from West Palm Beach, Florida to Toms River, New Jersey to visit relatives when they pulled off in Knoxville out of frustration. “We just can’t deal with all these…curves! It makes us claustrophobic. The last straw was a curve combined with a hill. It was too much…
Spaghetti western to be filmed in Old City
Sources close to the East Tennessee Film Commission assure Knoxpatch.com that a new low budget spaghetti western will be filmed in Knoxville’s Old City. The movie is being made by director John Woo and will star Jackie Chan, Matthew Lillard, and Pierce Brosnan. It will premiere at next year’s Valleyfest just after the animation segment….