Woman forces husband to watch soap operas


A West Knoxville woman allegedly forces her husband to watch the soap opera “Days of Our Lives” when all he wants to do is watch “The Fox Report.” Ben Johnson claims that not only did the cheesey plot lines cause him mental anguish, but he also has learned the character names. “This crap totally sucks ass,” he said, “Except this one really cute chick who’s getting it on with this guy who is in love with this other girl who has his kid even though nobody knows it but the cute chick… Oh crap! Now I know plot lines!” His wife, Mary, was not available for comment because she was at the grocery store.