Posts by: Brehd Patchley

new study shows that low IQ is linked to conservative beliefs and prejudice. Those with the lowest IQs tend to make poor public decisions that are harmful to those around them. This activity is being called the ‘Campfield Quotient’ and has a sliding scale that can be used to predict the likelihood of potentially harmful [...]

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Oak Ridge officials claim the closure of Sears in the Oak Ridge Mall is just the silver lining in a cloud they’ve been looking for. “Our long-term plan for the space has been to create the world’s largest climate controlled storage facility,” explains Mark Watson, Oak Ridge City Manager. “We have an aging population, and [...]

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Former Judge, Richard Baumgartner, is planning to make the most of the pension he’s receiving from his time and good deeds on the bench. “I’m not ready to retire, I want to continue to be an active part of this community,” stated Baumgartner. “Therefore, I’m reinvesting my pension funds to open a new pain clinic [...]

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Tried WOW massage today. Now I now why it’s called WOW. It’s not a good wow, it’s more of an are you serious wow. I walked in to both employees playing with the waterfall in the lobby, it was apparently quite the toy as it kept them occupied until I reached the front desk.

My [...]

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In a unique court case, Fate has filed suit against Stephen A. Burroughs. Claiming that Mr. Burroughs has utilized more than his allotted 15 minutes of fame, Fate demands that he spend the remainder of his life in obscurity. Mr. Burroughs would not comment on the case, but did offer to pose for pictures.

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Lee Greenwood has joined the list of celebrities jumping into politics by announcing his endorsement of Herman Cain. A spokesperson for the Cain campaign stated that, “Like other Americans, we’re excited to find out that Lee Greenwood is still alive.”

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Knowing that idiots need a chance to mingle, an anti-Mensa meeting has been scheduled tonight at 6pm in Krutch Park. So that fellow idiots can find one-another, they are encouraged to identify themselves with Occupy Knoxville or Occupy Together signs.

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A new shovel-ready project, Halls Astronomical Intercontinental Railroad, kicks off today in Tennessee. The project will bring the world’s largest railway system into place, offering one-way service from Halls, TN to Tanzania. A timeframe for project completion has not been announced, but at least four “good-sized” men with shovels are working as fast as they [...]

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After receiving media attention and successfully having one sex offender arrested for attempting to read, Tim Burchett has now created a new set of rules to bar those with past transgressions from public places.

According to the Mayor’s office, “Those with DUI’s are not to visit AutoZone or NAPA. Both of these locations [...]

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After weeks of hoopla surrounding Sarah Palin’s planned visit to Tennessee, a simple mix-up led her in the wrong direction. Expected at the Tennessee Valley Fair, she showed up today at Tennessee Valley Farms. Although she was unable to meet with supporters, she still had the opportunity to have animals lick her hands, so she [...]

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